The act of willfully allowing one’s ears to bleed…

There was a story I came across this week that was slagging off Nickelback. Imagine, who would ever dream of doing such a thing? With a mere 50 million (or thereabouts) albums sold, a plethora of hits behind them, sell-out world tours, and a lead singer who is a better looking version of Sarah Jessica Parker leading from the front (see previous entry), what’s not to like?

The first time I heard them in the flesh must have been around 2001(or 2) and it was all my buddy Jason Lynn’s fault. I remember we hooked up one Saturday night and ended up in Hollywood Bar in Itaewon, no doubt watching the football and fraternizing into the wee hours as was our want. He’d just been sent the CD (remember them?), possibly a CD single, from home and was eager to let everyone in the bar hear it. The only reason it was memorable for me was that was the song that went on to launch them into the Rock ‘n’ Roll land of Ferrari’s, supermodels, an extensive collection of shitty over-produced songs and videos, and more hits on Youtube than all the ‘Hitler’ Downfall clips combined

.

It’s fair to say that I’m not much of a fan, but one or two songs have had the odd hook or something that wasn’t bad. The song ‘Hero’ from the original Spiderman movie isn’t the worst, but when you check the video it’s almost like Sacha Baron Cohen (of Borat fame) and Jack  Black are hamming it up. 

So, the drummer from The Black Keys has blamed Nickelback for Rock ‘n’ Roll being down the shitter, according to this article at least. Maybe he has a point but I’d like to think that there’s a bit more to it than that. They’re an easy target if nothing else. There’s only a lull in guitar bands (as he calls it) coming to the fore because record companies want it this way at the present time. I’m sure all those kids in their bedrooms learning chords, jamming out with their friends in their garages, basements, and practice rooms are as mad for it as I (‘We’) were 20-something years ago. Why not just say that Nickelback are pants and leave it at that? You won’t get that many in disagreement.

One of the other stories to come out in the first week of 2012 was that Van Halen were making their live comeback (with Dave Lee Roth) ahead of their new album and US tour. I’d always had a soft spot for the original line-up of VH and didn’t even mind Sammy Hagar that much either, but of late it’s been a bit of a circus. Rolling Stone magazine reviewed the gig here, but to be honest I think RS is pretty shitty when it comes to reviewing anything these days. I’d prefer to think of the opening drum part for ‘Hot For Teacher’ and some of the other great songs they’ve done and let that do the talking instead.

And why anyone, let alone Metallica want to make a 3-d movie escapes me?

However, the highlight of the week for me would be the news that about 700 Thin Lizzy ‘demos’ have come to light. One can only hope that there are some gems in there.

Looking on the bright side, we’re always granted that at least 3 days a week the Korean press will churn out some shite about K-pop being the reason why the world’s a better place these days. World peace, a cure for cancer, or maybe one of these non-entities being nominated for a Nobel Prize sometime in the future is what they’re really capable of?

My favourite piece this week was about the ‘next big thing’, “A Pink”. What kind of fucking name is that? Not only does this article look like it’s been sketched out in crayon but it then goes on to boast that girls of 16 years of age have been going through “years of rigorous training at their entertainment factory”. Please, whatever you do, do not encourage these bastards and all their little helpers. Whoever told them to say that the best way to distinguish themselves from other acts was (drum roll) to use their real names. Wah! That’ll make all the fucking difference then, eh?

I’m going to end this piece with a quote from the Urban Dictionary who have at least 12 pages of definitions (well, kind of…) for Nicekelback, but I think it works in whatever context you want to use it.

3. nickelback 

the act of willfully allowing one’s ears to bleed.

“I was Nickelbacking so the school nurse sent me home early.”

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Author: From a Late Night Train

Teacher. Musician. Ponderer. Had lived in Seoul, South Korea since 2000. Moved back to Glasgow, Scotland in May 2017.

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